Okay, so Dear Hubby calls me at work today to ask which goats are the ones getting out and what am I going to do about it…HUH? Evidently he had gone outside to fine the doe berries littering the driveway. They’re not nearly as bad as cow pies but not something you want to walk through on the way to the car. As you may recall, a while ago I wrote about our fencing adventures. I’ve been researching since last summer what types of fence work best for goats, knowing that we would need something this summer to contain our herd. After reading everything I could find and talking to folks who have owned goats I decided that the most effective and affordable option would be a 6-strand electrified high tensile fence or a woven wire (sheep) fence with an offset hot wire to prevent the girls from rubbing on the fence. I shared this information with my resident fencing expert (husband) and asked what I needed to do to help. He said he’d take care of it with the help of his part time helpers.
Finally after about a month of letting the girls out to graze in the yard without fencing because I was completely out of hay to feed them, Bill put up the fence. Four strands of electrified smooth wire. I had my doubts about this but I was desperate, as were my flower gardens and apple trees!
To my surprise, the girls stayed in the fence, with the exception of the renegade babies who could sneak through the fence without getting a shock. This worked great, for about a week. Pretty soon one or two of the mama’s would sneak out, then a few more. We fixed short in the fence which slowed them down for a little but eventually the urge to graze the flower beds was greater than the fear of being shocked. I just came to accept the fact that my flowers were done for the year and I would have to put the goats in every night before bed (and pray that they could keep off the road and not get hit!) I figured we’d have another go at it next year and just make do for the time being.
You can probably imagine my surprise when my husband, the former dairy farmer, master of manure, asked me how I was going to fix this problem. If it bothered anybody to have a few pellets on the driveway, it should be me! For the first three years of our marriage I tolerated globs of manure on the driveway that fell off the spreader when it was emptied daily. Often our driveway was so soupy with mud and tire tracks that I was afraid I wouldn’t make it to the house, now he complains of some goat poop?
Okay, so as if complaining about my goats getting out of the fence that he designed and installed wasn’t enough, he went on to express how embarrassed he was with the condition of the house and surrounding yard. “Something needs to be done”, he says. Whoa now, hold your horses! I know I don’t keep the house as nice as I should. I used to be much better at keeping things neat. The problem is, when you bust your butt to get things cleaned up then awake to find a whole new mess left by the one who came home in the middle of the night, the desire to attempt to keep things clean begins to disappear. Messy houses used to bother me but I’ve learned to tolerate it, there are bigger things to worry about and more productive things to do than clean a house that never looks clean anyway. I figure he didn’t seem to appreciate it when I did keep the house nice, why would I knock myself out trying to keep things nice now when I have two children to take care of and rarely spend any time in the house at all! AAAARRRRRGHHHHH!
So what am I to do? This phone call completely ruined my day. I was actually being pretty productive but now my thoughts are consumed with what I can do to do a better job keeping things in order at home. This is shear torture when sitting at a desk at work where I really can do nothing about it but let my head spin from angry to guilty to just plain feeling like a domestic failure. I could take a week of vacation and get things all back to a civilized state. That would fix things for a little while. I think the underlying problem is that I have about three hours a day to get done the things I need to do in the house, plus take care of the kids and the animals and very rarely do I actually get help with the house work. In my three precious hours I need to make dinner, feed the kids and clean up dinner, do chores and tend to any urgent repairs or treatments that can’t wait for the weekend, harvest anything ready in the garden before it spoils, bathe the kids and put them to bed. If all that goes well I’ll have about one hour to myself to spend on additional tasks such as cleaning, exercising, folding clothes, organizing, computer work, etc. And that’s only if the first list went well.
So, I need some help. Working mothers out there, how do you do it? Is it too much to rely on a husband to do some housework (more-so than the occasional emptying the dishwasher or starting a load of laundry), or at least to clean up after himself? The thought has crossed my mind that I could get rid of my animals but I would be heartbroken. Besides that’s how I get the kids out of the house to prevent them from messing it up even more. We love to “play” in the barn and they don’t fight as much when they’re watching and playing with the animals. I would rather move into the barn with the animals than get rid of them!
My rant could go on but I’ve learned that it doesn’t solve the problem. (Which is why I don’t usually do it.) I guess I’m just looking for sympathy or something, or maybe something along the lines of someone to come clean my house for me, maybe hypnotize my husband to become a cleaning machine. Maybe just a suggestion for a good cleaning lady who doesn’t mind picking up after a messy and increasingly anal husband.
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